Hello, I’m Rafal, or simply Raf.

I want to tell you a story which will help you understand a bit more about who I am.

The Beginning

When I was few weeks old, I became gravely ill. I lost half of my body weight, was put in the incubator, received several blood transfusions and countless injections. I spent weeks between life and death. And I chose life. That’s how my story of overcoming began.

Growing up I always knew I was different. That I didn’t belong. I struggled to find my place and to feel accepted, and this story followed me into adulthood and my life in the corporate world.

Although I was ambitious and hard working, living and working in several countries, I never felt like I could bring my whole self to work. I felt as though key aspects of my identity – being gay and an immigrant – were somehow limiting my life and needed to be hidden. I didn’t belong.

Diplomas

My personal identity really came into question when I discovered the unknown history of my family and my heritage. I began to unpick everything I thought I had known about myself, an undoing. I had to accept that even though I may never have all of the answers as to who I am and where I’ve come from, perhaps the process was just as important as the destination.

My professional identity came into question next when I accepted a new role in a new country, and soon realised that it just wasn’t me and I experienced burnout as a result.

So here I was, new country, no job, nothing to lose.

My professional identity came into question next when I accepted a new role in a new country, and soon realised that it just wasn’t me and I experienced burnout as a result.

So here I was, new country, no job, nothing to lose.

The Shift

I had always struggled to ask for help in my life, but when I found myself in this place I realised that’s exactly what I had to do. Thankfully I learned that there are a lot of people willing and able to help if we only ask.

In my recovery I began seeing a coach. I was able to clarify what I truly value in life – freedom, and being able to help others in a way that is meaningful. I also realised that even though I was successful in my corporate life, I never truly felt I was in the right place. I never belonged.

Becoming a coach was a natural path for me – a role I would be able to bring my whole self to – both my rich professional and life experience. I finally belonged somewhere. At the same time I had the realisation that we only have one life and I wanted to live mine in a way that gives me sense of meaning and fulfilment.

This became my driving philosophy and led me to quit the corporate ladder, open my coaching practice and finally come out to my parents, aged 40.

The day after I had that conversation with my parents my mum was diagnosed with cancer.

Being with her in her last days and in her final moment was the most heartbreaking and formative moment of my life. Witnessing death of the person who gave me life taught me more than I could ever imagine. It broke me, and yet it has also showed me some powerful truths about me and my purpose.

I really felt then how important it is to do the things we feel called to do, to lean into our own vulnerability, to say the things we’re afraid of saying, and to really live each day without regrets. Fully embracing the fact that one day, we will die too.

So now, the latest episode..

In May 2023 walked 360 km in 12 days across forests and mountains of northern Spain. On day 8, after another 30km of physically and mentally challenging hike, I felt tears coming down my face. They were waterfalls….. That was the moment I realized I would be able to finish the walk, I knew I would succeed. I remember telling myself ‘You are doing this! You are living this life’…..

Those 12 days and thousands of minutes helped me see the story of my life, again, but with more intense emotions and awareness. The story of overcoming and transformation.

I fell so many times in my life I simply lost count. In the metaphorical arena of life I got beaten countless times. But that is not a pity post.

It is a story of facing human fear and limitations and staring them in the eyes and saying ‘I see you’ and then finding strength and resources within and doing things I had to/ wanted to or needed to do.

It is a story of freeing myself from fear of being judged by others and transforming the way I live, in every possible sense. My mental and body transformations are deeply rooted in my desire to create memories and live truly to myself so I can look back at my life and have as few regrets as possible when my time comes.

But this is not an ‘Insta story’, something perfectly manicured and polished. It was ugly at times, with sweat, tears, blood and pain. And I know there will be more. But I keep stepping into the arena. I celebrate when I succeed and I dust myself off and go forward when I fail and fall because I know I did my best.

When I chose my path a few years ago, I did it to help others walk into their arena, face their challenges and find their strength and fire within so they live the life they want. Seeing people is the gift I can offer. The gift which has been nurtured by my life story.

Today, I live in a small town in Switzerland with my partner. I spend a lot of time being active- gym, hiking, walking, running…. I love music and a good book. I also teach, mentor and write, hoping to inspire others to live fully.

So this is my story, I would love to hear yours!