‘Perhaps the truth depends on the walk around the lake’ wrote Wallace Stevens in one of his most famous poems. In my case it was actually the river that lead me to my moment of truth.

It was a warm & sunny Sunday and I caught myself sitting on the stairs walking into the river near my house. The water was clear, calm, inviting and everything I could see seemed to be exactly where it should be.

And then the wave hit me.

The wave of realisation that I was drowining in insecurity for such a big part of my life. At times overwhelming, suffocating, dragging me into dark & scary places I felt I would never get out of.  If you ever felt insecure, you probably know the feeling of sinking, suffocating, being worse, not fitting in, not being good enough and so on…..

Years of comparing (my)self, measuring (my)self against others, trying to find security and confidence in anything that came to (my) mind that could help (me).

And as I stared at water and let it sink in what I just realised, I thought I am tired of it and no longer want to drown in it. I didn’t want to waste more of my life.

So today, I am inviting you to take a walk ‘around the lake’ and reflect if insecurity is something that is holding you down / back. And if yes, what would help you overcome it.

That day, at the river bank, I took out my phone and took a selfie to look ‘in the mirror’ and see myself the way I am. Every line on my face, tattoo, piercing, scar on my body, sparkle / sadness in my eyes tell the story and remind me of everything I am capable of and all that I represent.  For me, seeing myself is to appreciate the journey I have taken and everything that has shaped me into the human I am. And also accepting that my path looks different so no point for me comparing myself.

In security for me is to own my story and remember that this is my life I am traveling and whenever insecurity visits me, give it a seat, get curious what it says and then invite it to watch me live and move forward. It’s asking myself in that very moment what I need to feel secure, to stand my ground when the insecurity hits me.

I know it often is easier said than done. We all know how overwhelming insecurity can be. And I also know that every single one of you reading this can find strength and stand your ground when the wave hits you. I encourage you to look within You and start there. It often is a reminder of who and what matters. It sometimes is looking back and reflecting where this inner voice comes from. But it never is the place with no exit.

Perhaps the truth depends on the walk around the lake, and perhaps the finding your strength depends on the look in the mirror.

Own your story.

Love,

R