grief is love

please note the below text mentions grief, death and loss of a loved one

‘Life changes in the instant. The ordinary instant’ wrote American writer Joan Didion when she wrote about her husband’s sudden death. For me it was a warm, sunny, summer afternoon when I lost a person I loved deeply since I can remember. The person who gave me the gift of life.

We all experience grief, whether we want it or not. It is part of our human life. Loss and grief. Two guests who come uninvited and we are always unprepared. No matter how (un)expected the loss is.

Grief is love, for me. My grief has its own shape, just like yours will have its own. Every grief is unique and that’s what we all have in common.

We grieve in private. We grieve in public. We grieve while we parent, partner, lead, collaborate, contribute, love, fear, discuss, deliver work, we grieve while we live … And we are still not there when we think about talking about loss and grief and navigating it as a society and community.

Death is scary to many of us. We have perfected not talking about it and not thinking about it. Yet, we all know it is inevitable. As families and individuals a lot of us feel completely unprepared for what happens when somebody we love is dying. We ought to change it. For our own wellbeing. We need to embrace our mortality as a source of empowerment in our life.

Grief is love, at least for me. Love that never fades, but only reshapes us into different, hopefully better humans.

One of the elements of grieving is finding meaning in the loss. It can be hard. Few days into my grief I realised I want to live my life in the way which would make my mum proud of me.

I will use my small platform to open / nurture conversation about loss, death, grief and love because they are all integral elements of our humanity.

Your life will change in the instant, the ordinary instant…